what id give to be more than this Color Palette

9-14-23] i find myself thinking about this platform more and more and how i've used it as this really shitty, edgy journal in a way when palettes and being outward about my feelings have never been my thing. i guess things change. i guess i've changed. and there i was, scared i was stagnant in my ways. all changes in little ways day by day. i won't ever declare myself a wise or smart man. that's near blasphemous in my eyes. but, i'll admit that i have learned and changed and i am not static. i refuse to be static. now that i have reached a point where i am comfortable with my body more, i have made space for myself to question what it is i want out of this life of mine. is school for me? what career do i want? all the big questions and all before i reach 2 decades of being on this hot spinning rock. a regret i have is not holding onto that sticky note of movies and tv shows to watch i must've ripped up and thrown out in my fit of grief. maybe i'll finally give star trek a chance. maybe i'll start finding myself more in the woods rather than trying to find remnants of my youth in the mirror. my feelings are conflicting but one thing is certain; the trajectory of my life is forever changed and i will never be the same. buried in the backyard is that child but he's never truly forgotten. just a bygone left to be a bygone.

Colors in Palette